Original photo by carf

Firstly, a quick word of thanks to Chaz from My Life Ministries, for calling my blog “interesting”, which I choose to believe is a good thing, and to Larry in particular and everyone else from there who’s commented for their kind words. It really is appreciated.

Now on with today. Concluding this week’s series, I want to look at how you can deal with regret. I know that living your life with “no regrets” is seen as the ultimate goal, but to be honest, I don’t know anyone who could truthfully hand on heart say they live like that. That they really do have no regrets. If you are that person, I’d love to meet you and know how you do it.

For the rest of us however, regret is a fact of life. Worse though, is that it can be left undealt with. It can turn to a poison that destroys your life. What I’m going to do now, is try and give you some strategies for dealing with it, so that it doesn’t ruin your life.

Whether it’s a relationship you wish you’d started, or one you wish you hadn’t, someone you wish you’d spent more time with, something you never did, or something you did you wish you hadn’t, the feeling is always going to be the same. The problem is, regret is a multi-layered emotion, built off the back of many others. The first way to get past it however, is the same in all cases. You’ve got to accept that it’s there.

Whatever it is that caused it, you need to deal with that. Acknowledge the fact that in some way, you played a part in this. It probably wasn’t entirely your fault, as the world really doesn’t revolve around you or anyone else. However, you were involved in some way. Admit to it, and then move on.

The second part is much harder. You’ve got to forgive yourself. Now that may sound easy, but it can be harder than anything else you’ll ever do. Sometimes it can take days, weeks, even years. But when you finally do let it go, you’ll feel the better for it. Never getting past this point can be one of the most destructive things in your life. You need to be willing to let it go, and not cling to it.

The third step is to try and make something good come of it. Whatever it was, try and learn something. Then, taking what it is you’ve learned, act on that. Do what you can to ensure it never happens again. I know it’s been said a thousand times, but if you don’t learn from your mistakes, you’ll just repeat them over and over.

As Christians, we have the greatest gift we could ever ask for; we have forgiveness. We only get that gift though, if we truly accept it, and part of that involves leaving our regret behind, and letting the past die.

You have to forgive yourself, and get right with your own regrets, your own past, before you can really move on.