Individual Responsibility and Owning Your Actions

The sad truth is that you’re going to do things in life that you’ll regret. It’s going to happen. Whether it’s being late for a meeting, letting your kids down by not taking them to that football match, having to work later and letting your partner down, or God forbid, you cause the death of another, there are things in life that will make you stop. In his wonderful poem “If”, Rudyard Kipling gives his son a list of things that when he’s mastered, he’ll know he’s a man. They bear repeating, so here it is:

“IF” by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream–and not make dreams your master,
If you can think–and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings–nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And–which is more–you’ll be a Man, my son!

A wonderful poem, no doubt. However, there’s one thing he leaves off, to my mind. You must be willing to own up to the things you’ve done that you regret, and take responsibility for them. I’ve talked this week about some of the darker things that can drive people. If we’re honest, we have to admit that sometimes those sides of us win over our better nature, and we do things we regret.

That, whilst regrettable, is not however the biggest problem. The problem is when we try and shift the blame to someone else. A man takes responsibility for his actions, and lives with the consequences, day in, day out, for the rest of his life. Owning up to the things you do wrong is never easy, but it is right.

So what I want you to do, and you can do this anonymously, is to post something below that’s on your mind. Say something that’s on your heart. Own up to something you’ve done that you regret. It may be the first step towards getting over it.

Go ahead, and get it off your chest…